Light In The Dark
by grka
Summary: A young couple llose their newborn child


Hi,  
  
Anna and I have written a new story. We have to thank one of our Beta Readers for the wonderful help to put it into a better English :-)))) Thank you Yvette!!!!!!! You did a wonderful job!!!!!!!  
  
We both hope you all will enjoy our story and hope you will give us some feedback :-)))))))))  
  
Hugs,  
Grit  
  
Disclaimer: Andrew and Tess belong to Martha Williamson and we really don't make any money with that.   
  
"The Light In The Dark"   
by Anna Hulterstroem and Grit Kaerst   
  
Andrew sighed. The hardest part of his job had to do with children, but it was also the easiest. Children always accepted his presence and God's love without reservation. The hard part was to watch a child die, all that potential; all that hope; without being able to intervene. Andrew knew very well that even if he could intervene it would sometimes be to no avail. This was such a time. He had been present during the birth and seen how disbelief and a slight concern had replaced the happy anticipation. Then the feeling had deepened into deep worry and grief. The boy had been born with a grave birth defect. If he had been born in a place with very advanced neonatal care he might have had a slim chance of surviving, but this was a small rural hospital. Resources had been used for other parts of the hospital. There had been an baptism in an emergency and now, 15 hours after birth, it was time.   
  
Andrew stepped up to the incubator. "Timothy, it is time to go Home." Andrew smiled gently as he picked up the infant in his arms and carried him home to the Father.   
  
Jennifer and John Marksham were devastated. Yesterday they had been so happy. They were expecting their first child and then he had been born. It had been a difficult birth, long and painful. Then the doctors had told them that the child was born with a congenital defect. Their son had been christened Timothy, named after John's granddad. Then they had been sitting beside the incubator, staring at the tiny body struggling to survive. A warning beep went off. Jennifer sobbed, as nurses and doctors ran to help their little son and John took his wife in his arms.   
  
John led Jennifer into their house. Jennifer's parents had come down to share the happy occasion with them. They had not expected to help a broken grieving daughter. Unseen by them all two women stood on the pavement gazing up to the house.   
  
Tess shook her head. "Well Angel Girl, this is not going to be easy. Grieving parents are always tough, but especially when they lose a baby. Anyway the Father has given us some help."   
  
"Who Tess?" Monica was curious by nature and just had to know.   
  
Tess just nodded. Down the street, where Andrew could be clearly seen walking towards them. He waved a greeting.   
  
********************************   
Monica greeted him with a smile back. She was happy that they would work together with her their friend. But when she saw his sad face, her smile disappeared and compassion took its place. When Andrew arrived and they had said hello to each other, it was Monica who wanted to know what had happened. She looked briefly at the house, "Did you take their child?"   
  
Andrew nodded with a sad smile, "Yes, I was with Timothy when he died." And with a glance towards Tess, he added, "It's so sad to have to take someone Home who never had a chance to live!"   
  
Tess put a comforting hand on her Angel Boy's shoulder, "I know, Andrew. These parents take the death of their baby really hard bad. They wanted so badly an to have their own child so that they tried EVERYTHING in the last 10 years to have one. And now, that they finally had one ..." Tess' voice trailed off. She didn't have to finish, since her fellow angels knew what she tried to explain.   
  
Monica had to fight back her tears, "They must feel terrible! It's really sad!"   
  
Tess nodded, "Yes, baby. It is, but we shouldn't forget that God has always a reason, for EVERYTHING. And when He decided that it was better for Timothy to come Home to Him, then we have to trust Him with that!"   
  
When Tess and Monica heard how Andrew sighed heavily, they turned their gaze to him and saw how he looked for a brief moment to the sky. Both, Tess and Monica, knew that he just got a call from the Father.   
  
Andrew looked back at his two friends and said with a sad voice, "If we want to help these people, then we have to hurry!"   
  
"What do you mean by that?" asked Monica concerned.   
  
"Sometimes, parents doesn't not only lose their child with the little one's death. Often they also lose their will to live; especially when they wanted a child as so badly as Jennifer and John."   
  
*******************************   
The next day two things happened in John and Jennifer's lives. The first thing was that they got new neighbors. They had vaguely been vaguely aware that the house next door had been available for sale or let, but they had been too wrapped up in the new baby to think much about it. This morning the new people were moving in. Neither of them really cared who was moving in, until the new neighbors rang their doorbell with the intention of introducing themselves.   
  
John and Jennifer stared at the young couple standing on their doorstep. The woman had long auburn hair and the man had blond hair. They had presented themselves as Monica and Andrew. Both John and Jennifer made the same reflection, 'how alike this new couple was ere to them, and yet so different'. Monica and Andrew seemed to be the same age as Jennifer and John, they had no children, but there was an inner strength and joy present in their very being. It both affronted them and but also intrigued them to see such joy and strength in their new neighbors.   
  
The second thing that happened to them was that they had to go back to the hospital. This was a journey that they did not want to take, but they had promised to return to see the family therapist who specialized in treating couples who had lost a child.   
  
With weighted steps they walked down the corridor to the therapist's office. They knocked on the door and were greeted by a melodious "Come in."   
  
The ample woman behind the desk stood up to greet them. "My name is Tess. Now I understand that you have just experienced a terrible loss, and we must work together for as long as it takes for you to be able to overcome the grief and continue with your lives."   
  
"I don't want to continue with my life as if nothing has happened," Jennifer sobbed.   
  
"Honey, nobody is asking you to forget what has happened. What you need to do is to digest it, come to terms with it." Tess rose her hand. "I know that the thought of you 'coming to terms' with it sounds alien to you right now, but one day you will understand."   
  
*************************   
  
It was John who responded to that, since Jennifer couldn't speak through her tears anymore, "I don't think we will ever come to ..." he stopped for a brief moment and with a sarcastic voice, he continued, "come to terms with it."   
  
Tess could clearly see how deeply both were hurt, but before she could react to John's words, he continued, "Do you have ANY clue how badly we wanted that baby?!"   
  
"Yes, I know this. I also know this better than you can imagine right now and I know also know how badly you too are hurting right now ..." Tess said with a calming voice, but John cut her short, "Do you have children? Have you ever lost a child?"   
  
The angel shook her head, "No, but ..."   
  
"No buts! You are sitting there, trying to tell us that you can help us! Nobody can help us, especially someone who doesn't know how it feels to lose a child!! Nobody can bring us our Timothy back!!" John yelled angrily and stood up. When Jennifer heard the name of her baby, her sobbing started to get harder. Why did all this have to happen?   
  
And with a more calming voice, he spoke to his wife, as he took her arm gently, "Come on Honey, I don't think we can find any help here!"   
  
With that he ushered his wife and himself out the door. Tess sighed heavily; she knew that these first appointments were the worst part for parents like Jennifer and John, especially so soon after the bereavement.   
  
"How did it go?" sounded a young female voice behind Tess and when she turned around, she saw that her two angel babies were standing behind her.   
  
Tess stood up and walked over to them. "Not so good! They can't imagine, that someone could understand how they are feeling. They think that nobody can even imagine how they feel or that this feeling of grief and loss will go away."   
  
Andrew looked long at the door, before his gaze returned to his two friends, "Yes, and they also think that they would forget or deceive their child, if they were to try and get over that stage."   
  
***************************   
  
John and Jennifer were both in turmoil when they came home again and neither one of them dared talk to the other one about their loss and grief. They had barely managed to get the shoes off their feet and their jackets off their shoulders before the doorbell chimed.   
  
On the doorstep stood Andrew and Monica. "Your parents told us what has happened. We are so sorry. We know that you probably just want to crawl into a little corner by yourselves right now, but the best thing is to eat a good meal and sit down and relax among friends. So we came to offer you some dinner and some sympathetic shoulders to lean on." Andrew offered sympathetically.   
  
John shook his head. "I'm sorry Andrew, we've just came back from a rather harrowing visit to a counselor. I'm not sure if we are up to any more talking for today, and besides what would make you equipped to help us?" The last part was uttered in a rather ironic manner.   
  
Andrew just smiled. "I'm a kind of counselor too, I help people who are dying."   
  
The last phrase made Jennifer stand up and listen. She put her hand on John's arm and nodded. "We'll be glad to come."   
  
Two hours later John, Jennifer and Jennifer's parents walked up the path of the house next to them. Monica greeted them in the hallway while Andrew put the final touches on the dinner. Andrew trusted Monica with many things, but not cooking. The four guests were led into the living room while they waited for the dinner. Monica went back into the kitchen leaving the guests to get acquainted with their surroundings.   
  
Dinner was simple enough, but to John and Jennifer it seemed like the most heavenly meal they had ever tasted.   
  
Coffee was taken in the living room. Both Andrew and Monica had studiously avoided talking about babies and death, but now it was Jennifer who brought up the subject. "So Andrew, you help dying people, how?"   
  
It was a blunt question, she knew that, but it came straight from her heart with a detour through her brain.   
  
Andrew seemed to understand, because he didn't seem to have been offended by the bluntness of her inquiry. "I stay with them through death, and I give them hope." Andrew answered her.   
  
This intrigued Jennifer even further. "How can you give hope to the hopeless?"   
  
Andrew smiled. "I tell them about God." He answered simply.   
  
This answer, however, offended Jennifer. "Don't talk to me about God. He took away my son."   
  
The angels exchanged glances, but let it pass. They knew that neither John nor Jennifer was ready yet to hear the truth. Monica put a comforting hand on Jennifer's arm.   
  
******************************   
  
"It's okay, Jennifer," Monica tried to comfort the woman, "Nobody here wants to offend you. We are just offering you our help through this difficult time!"   
  
Jennifer calmed down by Monica's soothing words and her comforting touch. She took a deep breath, before she said slowly, "I'm sorry, Andrew. I didn't want to yell at you ... it's just ... I never want to have anything to do with God, again!"   
  
Both, Monica and Andrew, want to tell her that God still wanted to be with them and that He loved them, but the soft voice of the Father told them that this wasn't the right moment for it ...that both had still a long road ahead before they would accept that fact.   
  
Andrew sat down beside Jennifer and put his hand on her back, when he gently said, "It's okay. I'm not offended. I can truly understand that you are angry at Him right now and don't want to talk about Him ..." and with a sad sigh, he continued, "And we will respect that. I promise!"   
  
Jennifer looked through her tears into the eyes of that strange man. She couldn't describe why, but she could tell that there was something special in his eyes, and this seemed to encompass his whole person. He possessed a love and confidence that she had never seen before. It was hard not to relax in his presence. "Thank you," she said with a low voice. In her mind, she was wondering how such a young man could have chosen a job that deals with death.   
  
In the meantime, John told Monica about their appointment with the counselor and that he doesn't want to go there again. He couldn't believe that that woman could help them, especially since she didn't have children of her own. But somehow, Monica could convince him to give that counselor another try.   
  
The next two hours passed without the subject of God. Monica and Andrew tried their best to give their new friends some kind of diversion with talking about music, books or just listened to them when they, mainly John, started to talk about the last days. Soon it was evening, and both, Jennifer and John, didn't notice that until Andrew went to the kitchen to prepare the supper.   
  
The whole afternoon, Jennifer fought with herself. Her inner voice told her that she would never again meet someone like Andrew again, whom she could speak to about death. At the same time, she wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about it. It was too painful to just to think about the past days! Besides, what would this whole talking thing change? Their small boy was dead and all the talking in the world would not change that! If she was honest with herself, she would have confessed, that all she wanted was that her life would be over too. They had needed so many years to get pregnant ... and soon, she would be too old for a new baby, especially if they would have to try for so long again. Besides, she didn't want a new baby, she wanted her Timothy!   
  
It was shortly after 10 pm when the young couple were leaving. Jennifer didn't talk very much after her outburst when Andrew talked about God. She seemed the whole evening deep in thought. John, on the other hand, seemed to have enjoyed that day. The talking with Monica seemed to help him a lot. Both angels could see a very small hint of new hope in the husband's eyes, at least for a very short moment. However, there was still a lot of work for them to do, especially with Jennifer.   
  
********************************   
  
That night Jennifer lay in her bed. Her thoughts kept swirling around. Death, Andrew, God. Over and over again she heard Andrew saying: "I help people who are dying " and "I tell them about God." She couldn't sleep, so she tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. On her way there, Jennifer opened a drawer in the living room and took out a file. She sat down and started to look through the contents. Large tears began to flow as she leafed through the documentation of her pregnancy and the few photos they had managed to take of Timothy. Unseen by Jennifer Tess, Monica and Andrew stood and watched. Silently they all three prayed for Jennifer as well as for John.   
  
Over the next few days a pattern began to emerge. John would leave for work in the morning, and when he left Jennifer would pop in to see Monica. Sometimes Andrew would remain, but it was clear that, though Jennifer was intrigued and fascinated by him, she was also afraid. Jennifer's parents left after the first two days and then Jennifer began to depend even more on Monica.   
  
A week after their first visit, John and Jennifer were back with Tess. Jennifer was just as remote as before, but John had become a little more receptive to what Tess had to offer. After one session Tess managed to get a word in private with John.   
  
"John, I don't know if you have noticed, but your wife needs a lot of help right now. It seems that she thinks that any measure taken to come over the grief is a betrayal to Timothy, and that it would mean she might forget him. Instead of working with the grief to become stronger, she is letting herself become overcome by the grief. That makes her weaker. She should not be left alone." Tess' voice and eyes were grave.   
  
John nodded. He had not really thought so much about it. He was busy working and that together with his colleagues it had helped him overcome a great deal. He had not really seen it that way until today, but now that Tess pointed it out he could see that it made sense. "We have some really good neighbors. I'll talk to them, I'm sure that Monica will keep an eye on Jennifer."   
  
As John drove Jennifer home he continued to think about what Tess had said. He realized that it might not have been a one time occurrence when he one night had woken up and found Jennifer's side of the bed empty. He had gone in search of her and found her crying in the kitchen looking though the pregnancy papers.   
  
That evening John and Jennifer were over having dinner with Monica and Andrew again. John had forgotten his gloves intentionally so that he could return to the neighbors and speak with them alone. He told Monica and Andrew about Tess' advice and was much relieved to hear that Andrew had some time off in the coming week, so both he and Monica could look after Jennifer.   
  
*************************************   
  
The next morning, after John had left, there was a knock at Jennifer's door. When Jennifer opened, she looked right into the smiling face of Andrew. "Good morning, Jennifer," he greeted her, his voice friendly.   
  
"Morning," she greeted back.   
  
"It's such a beautiful day, I thought you and I could take a small walk through the park," Andrew explained as he looked back at the sidewalk, where new snow had fallen during the night.   
  
At first, she looked a little bit frightened ... she and Andrew should walk alone? "Where is Monica?" she asked carefully.   
  
He could see that Jennifer didn't feel too comfortable with him around her. He knew that some people could unconscious sense his true identity, maybe Jennifer was one of them. He smiled gently, "I'm sorry, but Monica has to do some things and will be away till this afternoon. And since I have some free time, I thought you would like to go for a walk with me."   
  
Jennifer wasn't so sure what she should say. On one hand she was somewhat afraid to be alone with him, but on the other hand, she was intrigued by him. There were still those odd dreams, his talking about his job and God that often swirled around her mind.   
  
"I don't think it's a good idea, Andrew. I'm really not in the mood for something like that!" she answered evasively.   
  
But Andrew didn't give up so easily, "I know that you aren't in the mood right now, but I promise that you won't regret it!"   
  
When Jennifer saw Andrew's best puppy dog-look, she couldn't do anything else than to say yes. "Okay, but only for a little while."   
  
Andrew gave her an ear to ear grin. He knew that he could get everybody to do what he wanted with that look. "Great!!"   
  
The park, which was almost more a forest, wasn't far away. Jennifer and Andrew walked alone the snow-covered path. At this time of the day, they were alone there. During their walk, Jennifer didn't say one single word. In her mind, she remembered the last months, how they got the news about the baby, how they were trying to find a name, talking about the great things they were planning to show their child, once it got older. She also remembered how they got the news about Timothy's sickness and the occurrence later when he died. Fresh tears ran down her face, when she remembered all this. And there was it again, that strong desire to follow her son.   
  
When Andrew saw that Jennifer started to cry silently, he put his arm around her and asked softly, "Do you want to talk about it? You know, some people claim that I'm a really good listener."   
  
Jennifer didn't look at him when she shook her head, "I can't. It hurts too much!"   
  
Whether he liked it or not, Andrew had to accept that. He also knew that their time to help grow short, and with every 'no', that they got from Jennifer, it was pushing her further and further away. He knew that she built up a wall between her feelings and everybody else and that it got harder for them to break that wall down. Silently, he prayed to the Father that he wouldn't have to take her Home, before it was her time to go.   
  
After some more minutes of silence, Jennifer asked suddenly, "Why is it that you would choose a job about death? Why do you help dying people?"   
  
Andrew smiled, "I didn't choose that job, I got it from my father. It's a privilege to help those who are dying." When he saw the disbelief in Jennifer's face, he stopped and looked long and deep into her eyes, before he continued, "You see, there are only very few people who aren't afraid of death and dying. For the most people, death is something terribly, cruel ... the "big, black unknown" and they are scared of this, especially since they know that there is no way to get around it. Sooner or later, everybody has to go that way. For almost everybody, death means to be departed from their loved ones, that they will never see them again and it means also to them, that they are just ceasing to exist. So the most people prefer not to talk about that topic, to ignore it. This not talking .... it makes the things harder, since the person involved, knows that they are dying, can't talk about his or her fear. There is nobody who tells them the truth about death. And that's the moment when my job starts. I'm at that person's side the whole time, telling them the truth about death."   
  
When Jennifer saw and heard how convinced Andrew was about what he said ... when she saw the love for his job in his eyes, her sobbing stopped. She had never before met someone who talked like this about death. After a brief moment, she asked., "And what is the *truth* about death?"   
  
Andrew had to smile again, "The truth is, that death isn't something that has to be feared, it is NOT the end of your existence and it is NOT the BIG, DARK SIDE! Death is just the beginning of a new life. That other side, is full of LIFE and LIGHT and LOVE ..."   
  
Jennifer raised her hand abruptly, "Stop! You are talking about heaven. Right?"   
  
Andrew nodded slowly. He saw that new anger grow up inside of the woman, when she spoke with a touch of sarcasm, "I don't want to hear anything about this *fairy tale*! Maybe you can tell your patients such lies!"   
  
And before Andrew could reply, Jennifer walked away.   
  
***********************************   
  
Andrew tried to say something, but a restraining hand on his arm made him stop. "Let her go Angel Child. She is not ready for the truth yet." Tess' soothingly said.   
  
Andrew turned to Tess. "I know Tess, but something tells me that she might try something desperate." Andrew sighed.   
  
Meanwhile Jennifer walked as quickly as she possibly could away from that man who dared talk about heaven and God with her. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. The rage filled her like a huge black cloud, until she no longer could think clearly. All she could think about what Timothy and all she felt was an ever increasing desire to be with him. She heard a child call for his mommy and immediately she thought it was Timothy calling for her. "I'm coming Timothy" she called out. She knew there was a small lake in the middle of the park, trees surrounded it and at this time of year she would get the privacy she needed. Jennifer began to run. She didn't slow down until she saw the lake, lead-gray in the bleak winter sun. Jennifer no longer heard Andrew's voice talking about God and hope, all she heard was the child's voice calling for his mother. Jennifer started to wade out into the ice-cold water. When the water reached above her knees she sat down and began to lie down. She cast one last glance towards the shore and what she saw made her stop. Coming towards her, walking on the water was an apparition in white, and so brightly shone the light around the figure that she had to shield her eyes. In panic she closed her eyes.   
  
She sensed rather that saw that the white figure had stopped in front of her. Then she heard Andrew's familiar voice. "Don't be afraid Jennifer and open your eyes. I am an angel sent by God to help you through this."   
  
Without opening her eyes Jennifer asked: "Are you here to stop me from dying?"   
  
Andrew knelt down and put his hand under Jennifer's chin and lifted it up. Jennifer felt compelled to open her eyes and she looked into Andrew's compassionate eyes. "No Jennifer, whether you want to go on living or you want to end it here today is up to you. I'm here to show you some consequences of your actions and some options that you might have overlooked."   
  
With that Jennifer saw her beloved John broken down by grief drinking until he lost his job. Then after stopping for some more drinks on his way home, he hit a pedestrian with his car, the pedestrian was a pregnant woman. In the next instant she saw herself together with John, walking along the lake in the summertime. Between them, two children were walking.   
  
Jennifer, with tears in her eyes looked up on Andrew. "Are those images real?"   
  
"Those images were sent to you by God. They represent two possible futures. Human beings were given free will, Jennifer, but one of those futures might very well come to be." Andrew's voice was gentle.   
  
"So there really is a God and a heaven?" Jennifer was still uncertain.   
  
"Yes, Jennifer, there are. And God loves you more than you can ever imagine." Andrew smiled.   
  
"And Timothy?" Jennifer asked hesitantly.   
  
"He is in the presence of the Father. He has a special angel with him." Andrew answered.   
  
"What kind of special angel?" Jennifer wanted to know.   
  
"When an infant dies, and believe me Timothy was not the first, they have an angel of their own with them for a while, to help them."   
  
"Timothy won't mind if John and I have other children?" Jennifer hesitantly asked.   
  
Andrew smiled. "No Jennifer, he would be happy if you and John had other children. Timothy will always have a special place in your heart that no one can rob you of. He is your first born, but just as other parents can have more than one child and love them all equally, so can you."   
  
Jennifer held up her hand and asked Andrew to help her up. "I can't leave John now, will you help me?"   
  
*******************************   
  
Andrew was more than relieved to hear that from Jennifer. His compassionate smile changed into a joyful smile, "Sure!" After he lifted her up and put his white parka around her, he held her close to him, trying to give her some warmth. He could feel how terribly Jennifer shook in his arms and that it was hard for her to walk. Andrew knew that the fight for her life wasn't completely over yet, since the human body didn't react pleasurably to such a cold bath. Silently he prayed, that she wouldn't get too sick, because of what had happened.   
  
When Jennifer and Andrew got home, they saw that John's car stood in front of the house. Jennifer looked up into Andrew's eyes, "I don't want John to know what really happened!"   
  
Andrew shook his head and replied, "I won't lie to him!"   
  
"I don't want you to lie to him, just don't tell him. Promise me this please! He has already gone through enough, I don't want to cause him more pain! Please, Andrew!"   
  
The angel sighed, he knew that Jennifer wasn't in the condition to debate that here outside in the snow any longer and so he replied, "I won't tell him as so long as he won't ask me! Is that okay?"   
  
Jennifer nodded a little bit relieved, "Thank you!"   
  
When John opened the door, he didn't know what to say or to think at first. In front of him stood his wife, in the arms of his neighbor, whose parka she wore. She was wet and shaking terribly. "Honey! What happened?!" he asked completely shocked.   
  
Before Andrew could answer, Jennifer told him that she had a small *accident* and fell into the small lake in the park. John helped his wife to get a hot shower and some dry clothes. Andrew, in the meantime, prepared a hot chocolate for Jennifer and brought the cup into the bedroom, where Jennifer was lying in the bed, now, and still shaking.   
  
When John went down the stairs to get some warm woolen blankets, Andrew sat down at the edge of the bed, watching as Jennifer drank her cup of chocolate. After she had finished that, she looked long at Andrew, "You are really an angel. Right? I didn't just dream that all, did I?!" she was still a little bit unsure.   
  
Andrew smiled compassionately and took Jennifer's cold hand in his warm hands, "Yes, I am an angel. God has send me to stay with you, to help you through this difficult time!"   
  
"Is Monica an angel too?"   
  
Andrew chuckled, "Yes and so is Tess!"   
  
Jennifer need a short moment to digest this new information and after a moment, she continued with her questions, "So, you are not a counselor, who works with dying people?"   
  
Andrew's face showed concern, "Oh yes, I am. I'm some kind of counselor. You see, Jennifer ... there are a lot of different kind of angels, with different jobs to do here on earth. Tess and Monica are so-called caseworker, who help people to deal with the problems in their lives..."   
  
"What kind of angel are YOU then?" Jennifer cut Andrew short. Somehow she knew already the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him.   
  
The angel's face grew gentle when he answered, "I think you know the answer, you sensed it already when we met each other the first time. ... I'm the angel, who stays with people through their death and brings them Home to the Father. Jennifer, I'm the Angel of Death."   
  
It was strange, but somehow, Jennifer's fear, that she felt in Andrew's presence in the past days, was gone. Andrew's last statement didn't scare her, it just made her to cry softly, "I think you are right, I guess I really sensed it already when you knocked at our door." And with a deep sigh, she asked, "Were you there? .... When Timothy died?"   
  
Andrew's face lit up, when he replied, "Yes, I was with him. He didn't feel any pain then, and all that he feels now is joy and love! I promise you that he is happy! And one day ... you will see him again!"   
  
Jennifer tried to smile through her tears, as she started to cough badly. Suddenly, Andrew looked a brief moment at the ceiling and then his worried face returned to Jennifer. In that moment, John returned. When he saw how his wife coughed and saw her red face ... he became worried. Andrew and he exchanged some worried glances before Andrew told him, that he should hurry and call a doctor.   
  
After John left the room, to get on the telephone, Andrew stroked Jennifer's cheek softly, after she stopped coughing, "Jennifer, listen to me ... your fight isn't over yet."   
  
Panic appeared in the woman's face, when she saw how concerned the angel looked at her. "What do you mean?" she asked fearfully, once she remembered what kind of angel Andrew was.   
  
Andrew nodded "I just got word, that I will have to stay at your side," Andrew spoke as gently as possible. He didn't want to scare her more than she already was. "You will get pneumonia."   
  
The fear in Jennifer's eyes grow. "Am I going to die?" This couldn't be true! Now that she made her decision that she wanted to live! In her mind, she prayed that the answer to her question was no.   
  
Andrew sighed, took her hand and squeezed it softly, "Jennifer, just because I got the word to stay with you ... it doesn't mean that you are going to die! It just means that there is only a possibility of that! You will have to fight for your life. I know it's not going to be easy for you, but I promise you that I won't leave your side! I will help as so much as I can. All you have to do is ... just put the rest into God's hands! He loves you so much and all you need to do is to put yourself in his hands and trust Him. I promise you, this is the very best place to be!"   
  
**************************************   
  
Jennifer leaned back and closed her eyes. "Will you help me pray Andrew? I'm not sure I have the strength right now."   
  
Andrew squeezed her hand. "I'm already praying for you, Jennifer."   
  
Still holding Jennifer's hand Andrew lifted his eyes towards the Father and started to pray for Jennifer's life and for John and Jennifer's future together.   
  
It only took ten minutes for John to get a doctor to come to the house. For John that seemed like an eternity, but Jennifer was too sick to notice but where she lay she could feel Andrew's presence. Up till today she would have argued with anyone who claimed that it would be comforting to have the Angel of Death sitting beside you, but that was how she now felt. She was comforted by Andrew's presence. She heard him pray and she feebly tried to chime in now and then.   
  
John came rushing in with the doctor in tow. The doctor calmly began to examine Jennifer. He took her temperature and listened to her heart and lungs. John told the doctor that Jennifer had slipped and fallen into the little lake in the park and come home wet and cold.   
  
The doctor looked with concern at Jennifer's high temperature and he listened with growing alarm to the air labouring its way through her lungs filling up with fluids. He looked up at John. "We must get your wife to the hospital right away, Sir. This does not look good."   
  
"What's wrong, doctor?" John anxiously asked.   
  
"I can't tell for sure until I have made some more tests, but it seems that your wife has pneumonia." The doctor said, before he picked up his cell-phone to call for an ambulance.   
  
If Jennifer had not been so groggy she would probably been wondering how John could have forgotten about Andrew sow quickly. One minute Andrew had been acknowledged when he had helped Jennifer home, the next minute he could sit unseen and undisturbed by her side.   
  
For Andrew this was a part of being an angel. You were visible to humans when you needed to be, otherwise you could move unobtrusively through their world. It usually was only children, unsullied by the world, who could readily see angels.   
  
The ambulance came and Andrew went with Jennifer, now he had to stay close to her side. At the hospital Jennifer was rushed into a room of her own. Infection risk made it impossible to treat her in the ER and besides, she was in such a bad state that she needed the privacy. Blood samples were taken and an IV with antibiotics was started.   
  
All the while Andrew stayed by Jennifer's side. He was talking to her and holding her hand. Andrew gave her all the hope he could give and then infinitely more.   
  
John had been shooed out of the room, the reason, he was not quite sure. He was sitting forlorn and worried in the waiting room when Tess and Monica came in.   
  
"Baby, what are you sitting here for?" Tess asked across the room.   
  
John was taken aback by seeing his neighbor together with his counselor, but instead of asking that he found himself answering Tess' question. "The doctors said that I should wait here."   
  
By now Tess had reached John and she took him in her arms. "You should be with Jennifer, she needs you right now. I'll go and have a talk with that doctor." With that Tess was gone again.   
  
Andrew sat by Jennifer's side. He was holding her hand and gently stroking her fever-wet hair and brow. "Jennifer, John is close by. Remember what you said. You don't want to leave him alone. Hold on to that Jennifer and God will give you the strength you need."   
  
***********************   
  
Jennifer tried to smile, she never had expected that the Angel of Death would fight so hard for someone's life. It was hard for her to talk, since every breath hurt badly and caused her to coughing again, but there were some things she needed to tell Andrew. With a weak voice, which was in fact more a whisper, she said, "Thank you, Andrew. I ..." a new coughing attack interrupted her sentence, "... I'm so sorry ... that I did something so ... so stupid!"   
  
Andrew was still stroking Jennifer's cheek, when he replied, "Shhhh, don't talk. You will need your strength. I know you are sorry and God knows this, too. It's okay, He isn't angry at you. In fact, He can really understand why you wanted to do that! You see, God knows your heart and your thoughts and feelings, your dreams and wishes ... He knows EVERYTHING about you. And so, He knows also that you only tried to stop the pain, to stop it the only way you could imagine ... He wants to stop that pain too, but not with death, but with love! With His love for you! His love can heal everything, if you just trust Him enough and let Him in your heart. Jennifer, God loves you more than you even can imagine!!!"   
  
Jennifer managed one more smile, when she listened to Andrew's words. His eyes and his voice, were so full of compassion and love and conviction and peace ... she never had seen something like that before. The angel's words made her relax and she fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.   
  
In the meantime in the waiting room:   
"That woman needs her husband right now! She has already gone through enough and if you don't let that man in to see his wife, you will get in trouble with me!!" sounded Tess angry voice through the halls. John couldn't see Tess anywhere, but he recognized her voice and in his mind, he made a note, that he never wanted to get into a disagreement with that woman.   
  
Few moments later, John saw Jennifer's doctor coming down the hall. He didn't look too happy, but when he saw the look that Tess had given him, and for a brief moment, he he understood the reason and began to chuckle.   
  
When the doctor arrived, he spoke, "Mr.Marksham, if you want, you can see your wife now. But please, don't stay too long. She needs a lot of rest and shouldn't speak too much."   
  
John was glad that he finally could see Jennifer and so he thanked the doctor who seemed to be intent on getting as so far away from Tess as possible.   
  
After the doctor had gone, John looked at Tess for a long time, before he fearfully said, "It doesn't looks so good, huh?!"   
  
Tess put her arm around him and started to walk slowly in the direction of Jennifer's room, before she answered, "No Baby, it doesn't. But this doesn't mean that you have to give up on her!!! You will need to fight for her too! Tell her how much you love her, how badly you need her! That you want her to fight, too! That you will help her through this! And the rest ... give it over to God! He will help you through this and give you two the strength that you both will need!"   
  
"I can't bear the thought to lose her like Timothy!"   
  
*******************   
  
John carefully entered Jennifer's room. He gingerly sat down beside his wife and took her hand. "Dearest, you've got to fight this, I love you so much and I can't bear to lose you too." A large tear trickled down his cheek.   
  
"She knows that, and she loves you too, John." Andrew's voice made John spin around.   
  
"H-how did you get in here, Andrew?"   
  
"I have been with your wife the entire time, John. I'm an angel, sent by God."   
  
The gentle light that now radiated from Andrew, made John shrink back. "Why?" He stuttered.   
  
"Don't be afraid John, I'm here because God loves you and He loves Jennifer and Timothy too. He loves you all so much that you can only begin to imagine how much He loves you. God doesn't want Jennifer to die today either, but right now she is very weak and she needs your strength to pull through."   
  
"God loves Timothy? But why did He let him die then?" John still had difficulty comprehending what was happening.   
  
Andrew reached out and put his hand on John's shoulder. "I know it's hard to understand, John, but try to understand. God didn't give Timothy that birth defect, but He did give Timothy the help that he needed. God is giving you and Jennifer the help that you need too."   
  
John lifted his head and looked at Andrew. "You mean an angel, right?"   
  
Andrew ignored the hint of irony in John's voice and nodded. He knew that the man was hurting. "Yes, John. Timothy had an angel with him when he was born and when he died. There are angels with him now. There have been angels around you and Jennifer all this time too."   
  
This answer made John sit up and think a little. "You mean that Monica and Tess are angels too?"   
  
Andrew smiled. "Yes, John they are."   
  
At that moment the doctor came in to tell John that his visit time was up. John asked the doctor for one more minute, which the doctor grudgingly gave him.   
  
John returned his gaze to Andrew. "He didn't see you did he?"   
  
Andrew smiled. "No, he didn't. You can safely go out to Tess and Monica, John. I promise to stay with Jennifer."   
  
******************   
  
Andrew could see, that John didn't want to leave his wife, but he knew he had to go. Before he turned around and went, he walked back at her side and took her hand once again, "I love you honey, and I need you. Please fight!!"   
  
With a short glance at Andrew, he asked with a low voice, "Does she know about you?"   
  
Andrew smiled, when he nodded, "Yes, she knows that I'm here and also that I'm an angel."   
  
This, somehow, helped John to relax a little bit. He still didn't want to leave her, but the knowing that there was an angel at Jennifer's side ... it helped a lot.   
  
A few hours after John had left, it was already dark outside, Jennifer woke up. She felt terrible. Everything hurt and the breathing was still hard for her. In the first moments, she couldn't remember where she was and what had happened, but when she felt that someone was holding her hand and was calling softly her name, her gaze fell on Andrew and her memory came back.   
  
"Hello Jennifer," the angel said gently and squeezed her hand. He had still this beautiful glow around him, the same as he had in the park that morning.   
  
"Hi," Jennifer replied weakly.   
  
"John was here. He loves you very much and he is really concerned about you," Andrew told her softly.   
  
Jennifer managed a thin smile, but immediately had to start to cough again. After a moment, that seemed like an eternity for Jennifer, she calmed down and tried to speak again, "Andrew, I ... I don't think I can get through that ..."   
  
"Shhh, you CAN. All you have to do is to fight as so much as you can. God will give you the strength that you will need!! I promise you!!"   
  
The confidence that Jennifer could see in Andrew's eyes and hear in his voice gave her new hope. After a moment of silence, she whispered, "Tell me about Heaven! I .... I want to know where Timothy is living now."   
  
Andrew smiled and started to tell her about heaven, at least as so much as he could, since the human language was too inadequate to describe it well enough. "Jennifer, there is no way to tell you how Heaven REALLY looks." When he saw how hard it was for Jennifer to believe that, he sighed and searched for an example to show her better what he meant. He prayed to the Father for the right words and when he got them, he looked a brief moment above and smiled. "Do you remember, a few weeks ago? One morning, you took a walk and there was that beautiful sunrise! You thought that it was the most beautiful one that you have ever seen. Do you remember that morning?" he asked gently and continued when Jennifer nodded slowly, "Do you think you would ever find the right words to describe that sight to someone, who has never seen a sunrise before?" Andrew arched his eye brows when he waited for Jennifer's reply.   
  
Jennifer thought about that example for a moment. She remembered that picture that she saw that morning, the pink and orange sky and clouds and that dark blue sky around these colors. And she had to confess that she couldn't describe someone this scene so that he or she would get that picture in their mind. It was already hard enough to do so for someone who knew how a sunrise looked. Slowly she shook her head, "No, I don't think so."   
  
Andrew smiled again, "You see it's one of the things you have to experience by yourself and so is Heaven. There is no way to describe it to you. All I can say, that it's more beautiful and peaceful than that sunrise. And one day, you will see it yourself. But I hope that that day won't be too soon, that there will be a lot more sunrises before I have to take you on that journey!." Andrew waited few seconds, to give her time to digest what he had just told her, before he moved his head closer to her ears and whispered into them with a twinkle in his eyes, "But I will tell you a secret ... that sunrise that you have seen ... it's already a small piece of Heaven."   
  
Jennifer smiled at the angel but before she could reply something to that she fell into a deep, restful, and peaceful sleep.   
  
*********************   
  
It took a week before Jennifer could leave the hospital. Andrew had been by her side almost all the time. Now and then he had been released by Tess or Monica; and of course by John.   
  
Jennifer got stronger and stronger with every day and that amazed both doctors and Jennifer herself.   
  
The evening before she was going home, Jennifer lay in her hospital bed, praying. She thanked God for helping her and John through this; she thanked Him for sending angels to help them; and she thanked Him for sending and angel to help Timothy. It was much easier for her to think about Timothy now. Andrew turned up by her side. He had come every single night to see that she could sleep undisturbed by bad dreams. Jennifer looked up at the angel. "Thank you Andrew, for staying with me. You gave me the hope and the strength that I needed."   
  
Andrew smiled and shook his head. "No, Jennifer. It was God who gave you the strength and the hope. It was He who carried you in his arms through this. I was just the instrument."   
  
Jennifer smiled back. "It was the most amazing feeling. I really felt myself being carried."   
  
Andrew took Jennifer's hand in his. "Jennifer, you were. You ARE."   
  
Slowly Jennifer nodded. "Yes, I know and I will never forget this. Andrew, I will see you again won't I?"   
  
Andrew patted Jennifer's hand. "Yes you will, that's a promise."   
  
Jennifer slept peacefully that last night and she was happy the following morning when John came to take her home. Jennifer saw her husband in a new light that morning. She remembered his strength and his love from her fever hallucinations. She knew now how much he really loved her, and she knew how much she loved him.   
  
When they got home all the three angels were there. Suddenly Jennifer felt sad. She realized that the angels might be there to say good-bye. As if they had heard her thoughts Tess started to speak.   
  
"John, Jennifer, you don't need us anymore so we've come to say good-bye. Never forget when life seems dark, and it will now and again because such times will come again. It's a part of mortal life. Never forget that God's love is the light in the darkness. His love for you is like a beacon, if only you open your eyes and follow His light."   
  
John put his arm around Jennifer and nodded. "No, I don't think we can ever forget that again, Tess." After a few moments he continued. "Will we ever see you again?"  
  
Andrew smiled. "You will meet me again one day, but I hope it will be a long time before we meet again."  
  
John was puzzled by that answer, but he could sense that Jennifer understood what Andrew had meant.  
  
Tess and Monica just shook their heads in regret. They would not be seeing John and Jennifer again.  
  
It was after some very long hugs before the three angels could walk out the door. Even though John and Jennifer rushed after them, all they saw was a white dove flying over the street.   
  
The End   
  



End file.
